March 2025: Locked post
May. 3rd, 2025 12:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jedimentatThe month of the hip replacement; basically the whole month was a loss.
Already, I have chucked March into the memory hole where unpleasant things in my life go to disappear.
The procedure itself went pretty well and hospital stay...it was stressful to try to remain Covid-cautious, but staff were diligent about masking when they came in and I masked, ran a HEPA filter, and did mouthwash and nasal spray when able. The overnight experience was really rough; any time I got up to use the bathroom, I felt my heart racing uncontrollably and felt nauseous and that flushed feeling like I was about to pass out, and when I mentioned it to the night nurse, she was like, "Maybe it's a hot flash?" and I was like (internally, bc I just sort of was aghast) jfc that's unbelievable gaslighting and not at all helpful when this is not normal for me at all; she didn't note it in my chart and I was not hooked up to a heart monitor or anything like that so in retrospect that seems nuts, but whatever, I survived.
I was prescribed a simply *wild* amount of Oxycontin. Also on Eliquis blood thinners for the month, which contrindicted a heavy-hitting anti-inflammatory drug so I think that also prolonged healing a bit.
I cried every day for most of the month. For three weeks, I was pretty sure that things were messed up and that my hip had been done wrong and would never be good again. To lazily just use my FB post at the time, "I feel like I've been in a car wreck. I feel like a Barbie whose leg was detached and put on backwards. My brain was entirely non-functional last week. I'm still using a walker and it is still painful to put full weight on one leg. I can't bend, twist, or drive, and I'm already sick of comfy pants. The new hip-leg is fully two *inches* longer than the other, and my stance, balance, pelvis, etc is entirely whacked. I'm praying like crazy it evens out, but it seems like a lot. I was expecting a different surgical approach with less recovery time and more mobility. Sleeping is terrible. I cry every day. So, that's how it's going."
It took me two weeks to realize that I was comparing my progress to other hip-people I knew who had had an "anterior" approach, which is much less painful and more movement and recovery a *lot* sooner. ((When, at Week 5, I asked my surgeon why it was a posterior approach and not anterior, he said that he preferred it because he could manipulate things and get a better fit that way, and also that bc it caused a longer recovery and layup, the healing had more time for the new part to get better attachment. .. Which is cool from the surgeon's viewpoint, but, not so much from this one)). Even so, talking to my dad who had also had posterior, was a major mindfuck and discouragement, bc every convo, he would insist that he had been up and walking with no walker/crutches/cane etc etc soooo much earlier, and didn't know anyone who had used crutches after the first week etc. It made me constantly worry that my experience was terrible and wrong. So I was either comparing myself to anterior patients or to my dad's experiences, and definitely impatient with my own body, which I felt was healing at a snail's pace. It was very painful and arduous, way more than I expected. I ditched the Oxy after the first week (coming off was no fun for a few days), but needed to slam Tylenol first thing in the morning with coffee and wait 45 minutes to an hour in order to function. Another thing which I believe delayed or made healing slower is that according to the nurse who was in the OR for the procedure who visited me later, my ortho was really aggressive in how he manipulated the leg ("he tries to basically knock it out of the socket, to see which parts have the best fit"); this was echoed by my surgeon at that Week 5 visit. I think that 'aggressive manipulation' was pretty rough on all the muscle and soft tissue. My PT said it takes 8-12 weeks for soft tissue to heal. (which is a long time). I had a lot of bruising, and everything felt like hell. It felt like my knee was sprained for a few weeks as well (although in Hip-Replacement-Reddit, they say that when the titanium rod part gets pounded into the bone, that the shock of that can carry down the leg and stress the knee). One wild thing is that I previously had neuropathy/nerve damage going on in that right foot for like over a year...my right big toe was missing a lot of sensation and movement, also a lot of poor circulation/bloodflow. I immediately noticed in the hospital that sensation had returned after the THR, so, something was really bolloxed up in there, and yay for being able to scrunch my toes again! so weird.
spent several weeks on the sleeper sofa in the living room
My children and husband were helpful and caring but also I had set things up in advance of the surgery with an eye to the household running smoothly (meals, schooling, kids' activities etc), but hadn't anticipated the extent to which I was laid up in terms of needing care for *myself*; I hadn't exactly provided instructions to anyone for that, and when you are feeling low and out of it, it's hard to give instructions each time a pillow needs to be fluffed, you need a glass of water, need to re-invent a toilet situation on the fly, or help with getting clothes for the day, etc. It was an exercise in patience and frustration. Honestly, my daughter saved my sanity during those first two weeks; she was so patient and caring and amazing.
Having a lifelong incurable rare disease, I had a difficult or different time with mindset. When you have something like that for your whole life, and multiple surgeries and treatments and appointments don't *fix* your problem, just maintenance it, then I think you have less faith in the medical system to fix you in general for other things or that something major like this will actually get "fixed."
Anyway. Everything was incrementally slow stages. Walker>Crutches>Cane. Limping >Putting more Weight on it>doing Stairs> Being able to sleep on my side with less restrictions> Taking less Tylenol>starting to bend over and pick things off the floor. Teaching, Cooking, running errands. By Week 6, things were a lot better. By Week 9, I stopped physical therapy. I could at least put a sock on, even if mobility isn't 100% and I am still being careful. (It's the beginning of May and Week 10 PostOp as I write this; I'm dreading all the walking on a spring break trip to DC but I'm grateful that things have gotten so much better).
Kids
Dogs
I planted seeds right before the surgery at the end of February
Political Stuff
I had lots of time on my phone, and also, things continued to happen really really fast throughout the month of March.
the Trump/Velenskyy/Vance meeting happened
Already, I have chucked March into the memory hole where unpleasant things in my life go to disappear.
The procedure itself went pretty well and hospital stay...it was stressful to try to remain Covid-cautious, but staff were diligent about masking when they came in and I masked, ran a HEPA filter, and did mouthwash and nasal spray when able. The overnight experience was really rough; any time I got up to use the bathroom, I felt my heart racing uncontrollably and felt nauseous and that flushed feeling like I was about to pass out, and when I mentioned it to the night nurse, she was like, "Maybe it's a hot flash?" and I was like (internally, bc I just sort of was aghast) jfc that's unbelievable gaslighting and not at all helpful when this is not normal for me at all; she didn't note it in my chart and I was not hooked up to a heart monitor or anything like that so in retrospect that seems nuts, but whatever, I survived.
I was prescribed a simply *wild* amount of Oxycontin. Also on Eliquis blood thinners for the month, which contrindicted a heavy-hitting anti-inflammatory drug so I think that also prolonged healing a bit.
I cried every day for most of the month. For three weeks, I was pretty sure that things were messed up and that my hip had been done wrong and would never be good again. To lazily just use my FB post at the time, "I feel like I've been in a car wreck. I feel like a Barbie whose leg was detached and put on backwards. My brain was entirely non-functional last week. I'm still using a walker and it is still painful to put full weight on one leg. I can't bend, twist, or drive, and I'm already sick of comfy pants. The new hip-leg is fully two *inches* longer than the other, and my stance, balance, pelvis, etc is entirely whacked. I'm praying like crazy it evens out, but it seems like a lot. I was expecting a different surgical approach with less recovery time and more mobility. Sleeping is terrible. I cry every day. So, that's how it's going."
It took me two weeks to realize that I was comparing my progress to other hip-people I knew who had had an "anterior" approach, which is much less painful and more movement and recovery a *lot* sooner. ((When, at Week 5, I asked my surgeon why it was a posterior approach and not anterior, he said that he preferred it because he could manipulate things and get a better fit that way, and also that bc it caused a longer recovery and layup, the healing had more time for the new part to get better attachment. .. Which is cool from the surgeon's viewpoint, but, not so much from this one)). Even so, talking to my dad who had also had posterior, was a major mindfuck and discouragement, bc every convo, he would insist that he had been up and walking with no walker/crutches/cane etc etc soooo much earlier, and didn't know anyone who had used crutches after the first week etc. It made me constantly worry that my experience was terrible and wrong. So I was either comparing myself to anterior patients or to my dad's experiences, and definitely impatient with my own body, which I felt was healing at a snail's pace. It was very painful and arduous, way more than I expected. I ditched the Oxy after the first week (coming off was no fun for a few days), but needed to slam Tylenol first thing in the morning with coffee and wait 45 minutes to an hour in order to function. Another thing which I believe delayed or made healing slower is that according to the nurse who was in the OR for the procedure who visited me later, my ortho was really aggressive in how he manipulated the leg ("he tries to basically knock it out of the socket, to see which parts have the best fit"); this was echoed by my surgeon at that Week 5 visit. I think that 'aggressive manipulation' was pretty rough on all the muscle and soft tissue. My PT said it takes 8-12 weeks for soft tissue to heal. (which is a long time). I had a lot of bruising, and everything felt like hell. It felt like my knee was sprained for a few weeks as well (although in Hip-Replacement-Reddit, they say that when the titanium rod part gets pounded into the bone, that the shock of that can carry down the leg and stress the knee). One wild thing is that I previously had neuropathy/nerve damage going on in that right foot for like over a year...my right big toe was missing a lot of sensation and movement, also a lot of poor circulation/bloodflow. I immediately noticed in the hospital that sensation had returned after the THR, so, something was really bolloxed up in there, and yay for being able to scrunch my toes again! so weird.
spent several weeks on the sleeper sofa in the living room
My children and husband were helpful and caring but also I had set things up in advance of the surgery with an eye to the household running smoothly (meals, schooling, kids' activities etc), but hadn't anticipated the extent to which I was laid up in terms of needing care for *myself*; I hadn't exactly provided instructions to anyone for that, and when you are feeling low and out of it, it's hard to give instructions each time a pillow needs to be fluffed, you need a glass of water, need to re-invent a toilet situation on the fly, or help with getting clothes for the day, etc. It was an exercise in patience and frustration. Honestly, my daughter saved my sanity during those first two weeks; she was so patient and caring and amazing.
Having a lifelong incurable rare disease, I had a difficult or different time with mindset. When you have something like that for your whole life, and multiple surgeries and treatments and appointments don't *fix* your problem, just maintenance it, then I think you have less faith in the medical system to fix you in general for other things or that something major like this will actually get "fixed."
Anyway. Everything was incrementally slow stages. Walker>Crutches>Cane. Limping >Putting more Weight on it>doing Stairs> Being able to sleep on my side with less restrictions> Taking less Tylenol>starting to bend over and pick things off the floor. Teaching, Cooking, running errands. By Week 6, things were a lot better. By Week 9, I stopped physical therapy. I could at least put a sock on, even if mobility isn't 100% and I am still being careful. (It's the beginning of May and Week 10 PostOp as I write this; I'm dreading all the walking on a spring break trip to DC but I'm grateful that things have gotten so much better).
Kids
Dogs
I planted seeds right before the surgery at the end of February
Political Stuff
I had lots of time on my phone, and also, things continued to happen really really fast throughout the month of March.
the Trump/Velenskyy/Vance meeting happened
