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Nov. 3rd, 2020
Gram Darrow, Kingfox's grandmother, and the last remaining grandparent of the two of us, passed away this month.
My experience with her was very small, but I really valued her. I'll write the things that stood out to me, the things I know about her, which is not very much.
She lived to be very old, nearly 100, and was such a vibrant and energetic and active person until the end, that her loss feels like when Notre Dame burned down...something beautiful and meaningful and purposeful which had been standing so long and was such a part of the world's landscape, that it is a hole in the landscape and a cultural and spiritual loss when gone. She was a teacher (I remember her asking me if I was teaching my children all that I know, especially in terms of reading and mandarin), she was involved in her church and community activities in her very small Midwestern town (which had the Americana and nostalgic feel of a Willa Cather novel); she had been a brave missionary to a foreign land; she supported and loved her children, and joined in their interests, she wrote a family newsletter every month, typing it painstakingly on her typewriter, photocopying and mailing it out, with a roundup of family news and her daily activities. She was a connector. She mailed checks to family members, and honestly, the money that she generously gave us helped us in the past when we were in tougher and leaner times, and I always felt profoundly moved that she would mail her grandchildren checks so selflessly while living humbly. We took the children to visit her in 2016 and drove out, and I really appreciated seeing her house and her environment and visiting her church, (which felt a *lot* like Old Mount Bethel Baptist Church to me, in all the best, familial ways). Other than her letters and our short visit, and periodic phone calls, I had a few personal letters with her, shortly after marrying Kingfox and starting a family, and those were lovely and informational and spiritual exchanges and I really value those letters. When Gram came out and visited for our wedding, I was insanely busy with the DIY-200-people-event, and I didn't get to hang out with her very much; even though she had just met me, while at the family picnic the night before the wedding, she jumped right in and helped to cut lemons for the event.
Anyway. I really valued her and loved what I knew of her, and I rejoice that she is in heaven after such a graceful life of duty and service, and I hope to carry her lessons with me.
My experience with her was very small, but I really valued her. I'll write the things that stood out to me, the things I know about her, which is not very much.
She lived to be very old, nearly 100, and was such a vibrant and energetic and active person until the end, that her loss feels like when Notre Dame burned down...something beautiful and meaningful and purposeful which had been standing so long and was such a part of the world's landscape, that it is a hole in the landscape and a cultural and spiritual loss when gone. She was a teacher (I remember her asking me if I was teaching my children all that I know, especially in terms of reading and mandarin), she was involved in her church and community activities in her very small Midwestern town (which had the Americana and nostalgic feel of a Willa Cather novel); she had been a brave missionary to a foreign land; she supported and loved her children, and joined in their interests, she wrote a family newsletter every month, typing it painstakingly on her typewriter, photocopying and mailing it out, with a roundup of family news and her daily activities. She was a connector. She mailed checks to family members, and honestly, the money that she generously gave us helped us in the past when we were in tougher and leaner times, and I always felt profoundly moved that she would mail her grandchildren checks so selflessly while living humbly. We took the children to visit her in 2016 and drove out, and I really appreciated seeing her house and her environment and visiting her church, (which felt a *lot* like Old Mount Bethel Baptist Church to me, in all the best, familial ways). Other than her letters and our short visit, and periodic phone calls, I had a few personal letters with her, shortly after marrying Kingfox and starting a family, and those were lovely and informational and spiritual exchanges and I really value those letters. When Gram came out and visited for our wedding, I was insanely busy with the DIY-200-people-event, and I didn't get to hang out with her very much; even though she had just met me, while at the family picnic the night before the wedding, she jumped right in and helped to cut lemons for the event.
Anyway. I really valued her and loved what I knew of her, and I rejoice that she is in heaven after such a graceful life of duty and service, and I hope to carry her lessons with me.